Two decades seems a long time, looking back.
But I don't feel old - at all. Probably because I am not - Go figure.
This post might be a bit somber - that's kinda my mood presently.
Anyway, It's got me thinking lately. I still feel like a kid, and honestly, I probably still act like a kid in many ways. Actually, I know I do.
In olden days kids were mature, grown up, per-say, at much younger. There are tales of kids - 12-year-olds, being mature enough to command their own ship. People got married at 19 and 20, and had loads of kids by 30, as opposed to people getting married nowadays around 30,and kids are a possible consideration - maybe.
I, at nigh on twenty, couldn't handle that. I couldn't take on the responsibility of a full ship and all that it entailed. That folks, is staggering.
But a ship really isn't that much in comparison to a family - your family. Leading a family, in all that entails, and doing it right, is more than staggering. It's literally impossible.
I really don't think that if I couldn't cut it on a ship, I would be able to pull it off in a family.
What it all comes down to, is, at twenty, I am not grown up. Its sad, its humbling, but that is the truth, so I am forced to live with it, and grow.
It makes one, well, it makes me, stop and think when one realizes that one could, realistically be grown up, and isn't. It makes you wonder what went wrong, and wonder why.
But that really isn't the main point. I am finding the question is not how you got there, but how to fix it. It's far to easy for me to sit and stew on why I am not where I should be, and not focus on what needs to be done to get where I should be.
But I don't want to sit here and yak about my problems.
To put it bluntly, it's time to change, and I want to lead the charge. It's high time to knuckle down to what we are supposed to be doing, and stop messing around, wasting our lives on useless stuff. If we get together, we yak about useless stuff. Online, we gander about time-wasters. We spend our time around each-other, in either the physical or the cyber world, doing things that are so totally useless. So totally ..... vain. Mortal. Shortsighted. And honestly, I am a little tired of it. I tire of conversations where people can yak on silly topics for hours at ease, then get quiet and lock jaw, closed off from the outside world, when reality is brought up. When heart matters that get personal (and I mean personal) are voiced, people shrink back into their cozy corners and refuse to come out and make themselves vulnerable.
Honestly, I miss iron sharpening iron. Granted, I don't think I qualify as iron, but I miss being able to sit down and share heart to heart talks with people. We talk about the news, the weather, the latest politics, then run out of topics and run back around to the weather or news again. Nobody wants to let their sinful self spill out all over the floor, letting it look the mess it really is, and ask for help and accountability. We all want to tuck back into our jackets with a broad smile and try to convince the world and ourselves that we have it together.
So all you people out there - all you people reading this, this is from the bottom of my heart. I know it sounds cliche and cheesy, but its real.
It's time to change, and change for reals.
So, take this as another challenge, for anyone out there who has got the guts.
Sorry girls, that was a total boy phrase. :) But anyway, the challenge still stands.
It's a challenge to expose your area of greatest need, and then commit to getting it fixed. Why? Because if it's out in the open, we are accountable. And accountability is what we all need, and badly.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9
It also doesn't mean you sit back and just sorta twiddle your thumbs and do nothing, waiting for Christ to sorta whazam you to where you need to be.
It's trusting in Christs merit and Christs merit and perfect righteousness to sanctify you from your sins alone - with no mental reservations as to 'your part' in the deal. We tend to think we can somehow help in God sanctifying us.
I tried that.
All I got was less sanctified. Anyway, the point is, it is never of us, it is always of Christ. Period. What we need to do is to start doing some serious repenting, and it needs to start today - right here, and right now.
We need to start being accountable to each-other, to church members, to friends, for our actions, for our sins. Yeah, all those nasty sins we try to stuff and hope nobody ever finds out. If we are never forced to deal with them, we won't - it's just the way human nature works.
So of course, I'll go first. : ) Here is the area I need to work on.
I need to spend more time in the word - period. My biggest problem is that I don't think God is important enough to put more time on reading his word into my life. I think my solution lies in reading other books, working harder at what I need to be doing - on my own strength. I think the solution lies elsewhere, and not in the Bible. If I just make more money, have the best gear, get my website going, be everything I want to be, I can be better - or so I think.
So, it's out there, and you can hold me accountable to that. I would really like it if you would. Really - drop a comment randomly sometime asking me if I got into the word a good bit that day, and encourage me to do it more. Believe me, it will help a ton, ad the more often you do it, the better I will like it.
And if you post your faults, I'll try to encourage you. : )
So, it's another challenge, and if you are tired of those, you probably need it. : )
Just remember in all of this, that God is sovereign. He has you exactly where He wants you right now, and there is nothing to be ashamed about, for not being perfect. Be glad God has you where he does, but keep striving for the goal.
So lets grow up - and lets grow up together.
Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper whithersoever thou goest.