If you want to attract an honorable lady, be an honorable man.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

What Girls Teach Me

Yeah guys, you have to admit it. Some guys hate to admit you could learn anything remotely helpful from a girl, but any guy in his right humble mind will admit that girls teach guys a whole heap.
I didn't grow up from real young with sisters, but being around ladies and girls at church functions, and nigh on adopting 3 sisters from a family down the road, teaches a guy a lot. Like, a whole lot.

They teach guys that there are other things than guys out there.
Like really. As guys, you just get used to viewing the world from guy lenses, and forget that there are these weird other beings, we think their humans, that tend to think really wacky. I mean yeah, their cute, and you know that most guys marry one someday, but nuh-uh, not you. They's just to plain weird for you. Like, painting your toenails??? Are you serious? Braiding your hair??? No way jimmy-jay. Keep them at a nice comfortable distance from your safe and sane camouflage and guns, and stay sane yourself.

And yes guys, you have to admit, we all at one point have been there. Some longer than others, but yes, we all were there.

Ladies teach men that they really are humans.
Real, honest people, with real hopes, real dreams, real desires, who honestly think we are just as weird as we think they are. Gutting a deer?? Oh please, do that outside where the smell won't get in the curtains. And take your muddy boots off before coming inside, I just vacuumed.

We learn to think beyond ourselves and our own guy-world.
Guns and guts and glory from the last air-soft battle are not near as interesting to her as they are to Billy next door. The way Jane had her hair done at church has a far higher percentage chance of being interesting than your latest manly escapade. Not saying that the only thing girls think about is their hair, house and appearance - just saying that guys tend to not care at all about any of those. : )

They teach us to be gentlemen
After getting over the fact that girls aren't quite so weird as you at first thought, (in fact, they are actually kinda nice, they sure can cook really good) they teach you to shape up a little bit - or at least they should. No man in his right mind can sit on the couch stuffing potato chips down his pipe while the lady struggles with armloads of groceries at the front door. Guys learn to put the ladies a notch up in their estimation, and learn to treat them with more honor and dignity than Billy next door dreamed about - even after he got promoted from the last battle. We open doors, we tip our hats, we carry the heavy loads, we grind the scorpion into the clean carpet with our big unclean boots, because we want to show them the honor that they are due as ladies. We learn to put them first, to die to self, "as Christ for his Church".
And, in the case of the scorpion, then clean the floor.

They teach us to be heroes
Well, this isn't to hard to learn for boys in general, but it puts things in the right perspective. Having glorious sword battles, or eating enemy fire to reach that safe ground, isn't as worth it. If you are gonna die, I mean, you might as well have something or someone to die for. Boys hate dying uselessly. Girls teaches boys to die to self to save the maiden in distress, and to put the ladies safety first - whether it's airsofts or real lead flying downrange. It can be our first reaction to duck behind the tree first, then drag the lady behind -  not the other way round. Practicing helps, before it's real lead comin for your head. ( Ooh, that rymed....) : )
Oh, and girls, one note. If there ever comes a situation where you are in some sort of trouble, and there is a guy who can save you, let him. Honestly, we love being the hero and running to the damsel in distress's aid. It isn't any trouble, and in fact, the more danger we went through saving you, the more we like it. Call it zainy, but it's who we are. We love walking away with the feeling of overcoming the danger and being the hero to save the ladies. Letting whatever man is near you be your knight errant will make his day, more than you will ever know.

They teach us there is more to life than, well, boy stuff.
I almost wrote cool stuff. Sorry. I am a guy, after all.
But seriously, they teach us to appreciate some things in life that... well ....we wouldn't exactly have a natural attraction too.
Sergers? It looks like a sewing machine. What do you mean it isn't a sewing machine? It sews doesn't it?
You learn to appreciate bows, (not the kind with arrows....) lace, ribbons, skirts, long hair, and the like. You come to find out the exact use of a Serger, and they actually do some really cool stuff and keep your t-shirt from unraveling (without the use of duct-tape - really, it is possible). You learn to value them because they value them. They make you realize you are gonna have to marry one of these someday, so learning to like what they like before you get married, has its obvious benefits.

They teach us to be sensitive.
Splinter in your finger? Hold thou still while I whip out my machete and remove this plank from thy appendage.
That can creep a girl out sometimes. I mean, why? You want the silly thing out don't you? Well, the bigger the knife, the more leverage I get!
We learn to approach things with smaller force, smaller knife, more care, less gusto, and understand that even though we know we have pulled splinters out of our foot this way, must be nigh on a million times, that poor lass isn't sure you aren't gonna miss and take off her whole hand, or something worse.
We learn to be more emotionally sensitive as well. And no, cold-cut logic does not help all the time - believe me I tried.
Girls sometimes need some time to think things through, work things over, calm down, and pray harder. I know as guys we tend to shut down all emotions and look at the cold facts.
Ok, so I shot the chicken. Look, God allows it, somebody's gotta do it, I enjoy it, it never really felt a thing with these new pellets I got, and you aren't wanting to be a vegetarian are you?
Girls don't take that well. Sometimes, no, most-times, they need sympathy - not cold hard logic. Not saying they are illogical, just saying that ramming it down their throats as a malady for overwhelming emotions doesn't exactly fit the bill. "Live with your wives in an understanding manner," as the "weaker vessel". Girls being around teaches us to understand them, and not be hard and harsh.

They teach us to appreciate beauty
Beauty? Oh yeah, that big ten point over the fireplace. Whew, that's a beaut if I ever saw one.
We learn to change what we define as beautiful. Beauty goes from a ten-point with drop tines to a tasteful picture of the family, with a verse. Maybe a nice plaid quilt on the bed, instead of that ratty old camo one you have had for years.
They make things beautiful that weren't before. You can tell a house that has a lady in it, about the first few seconds you walk in the door. Guys for some reason just can't decorate the way girls can. It has been said Guys can build a house, but it takes a woman to build a home. I believe that wholeheartedly.  

In short, they make you more Christlike. They teach men to treat ladies with honor, as the weaker vessel, to be Christlike in our interactions with them, making men manlier.

I could go on and on, but it would turn from nice neat categories to rambling from thought to thought.

If you couldn't tell by now, I like girls. : ) As a culture, we men have lost a true love of ladies, and have perverted it into a nasty element with sexuality as not only the core, but their main goal. I think there is a Godly and wholesome love of ladies for who they are and what elements and facets they bring to life, that has been far, far forgotten.

I enjoy their company, their nature, their character, their feminine look and ways, and just about everything about them. I wish I could have grown up from way young with sisters, and could have got a handle on being a manly man earlier, but hey, at least I am where I am now. I would love a honest-to-goodness sister, but I will be content with what I have. I have a wonderful mom, three goofy adopted sisters, and a whole church full of ladies to learn from.

That should be plenty.     



  1. I have to be honest....I totally LOVED this post. Every word of it :) Especially the part about the splinter - I chuckled out loud and winced at the same time. Painful memories and such, ya know :)

    But seriously, great stuff. I am so crazy proud of you and the man you've grown into. Amazing how you've changed from the annoying kid who used to drive me up the wall to this ridiculously smart man who constantly blows me away with the way he thinks about things.

    Keep it up! (and remember you've always got three allegedly goofy sisters over here who think you're amazing)

    1. Ah, yes, throw your weight on this subject and Go tell Hannah down in the comments that using a hunting knife is FAR superior to a pair of tweezers or a needle. You at least auta know....
      Thank God I am not who I used to be - Amen and Amen.

    2. Indeed!! There is a rock somewhere out at the top of a hill in those mountains west of here with "HI" written in my blood :) :) But I would agree.

    3. I remember said rock. You did down size the knife for that one.

  2. This was awesome, David. :D I was so hoping you would do a post like this as well! I was grinning at how your scepticism made some of the things us girls like/enjoy seem so ridiculous. There's a lot of things in there that I as a girl assume a guy should know without thinking about the fact that guys often have to learn these things from us. Favourite line:

    Splinter in your finger? Hold thou still while I whip out my machete and remove this plank from thy appendage.

    Classic. :D Great thoughts! Thankyou for sharing them.

    1. Hey Bushy, glad you swung in. :) I was hoping you would, since it was your post the other way round that gave me in the inspiration for this post.
      You are SO Aussie. Favourite? It's spelled Favorite. :D

    2. I was glad to see your response to it. :D

      And if you wanted to get picky, it could've been British spelling, you know. ;D

  3. Hahaha, this is good lol. I agree with you David. I love your comment about bows, when I first read it I was thinking of the weapon, I think that is one thing we learn from women you didn't mention, they teach there is more to life than weapons and instruments of war ;).

    1. Hey flame. I knew I needed to add that clarification as soon as I wrote it, because, of course, that was the first thing I thought of as well.
      Very good point. We tend to.... um... obsess there. You should see my room. :D

  4. If I see someone struggling with groceries, I would help them no matter what their sex.

  5. Great stuff, David. I heartily concur all the way. Having no sisters in my immediate family, these things have been somewhat difficult to learn, although by no means impossible -- and well-worth the effort and practice. I'd be honored to share this post.

    1. Oh good, somebody else in the same boat with me. Take an oar. :)
      And you are right, it is hard to learn. I can't count the number of times I blew it, and still blow it in the area of how to treat a lady. Guys treat each-other a LOT differently than girls do, and we tend to forget that.
      But hey, the first step to fixing a problem, is recognizing it. ;)
      Good to hear from you.

  6. Man... I'm glad we could help teach you something......! You seem to be the main "teacher" in our " family" :-) We sure have learned an awful lot about men/boys from you too though.

    1. Ha, your funny. Just because I talk part of one day a week, hardly makes me a "teacher". More of a momentary soap-box. :)

  7. A well written post, but my experience with girls, ie Bushmaid, is a little different, such as the danger of being outshot (if you heard about the rock at 200yds off the shoulder) though I sympathise with you not having an older sister as mine is my best friend ;-)

    1. Hey Honda! Glad the famed brother (or one of them) of Bushy finally visited my humble cyber-home.
      Gee, I had better make sure I am at least 300 yards away or more as long as she is behind the trigger...
      But hey, that's Bushy.

  8. I think everything you said could be applied to us as well.

    1. Good point. I hadn't thought of it from that angle. That would come under the "older women teaching the younger". Excellent point there.
      Well thank God those older ladies taught the (relatively) younger ones around me pretty sharp!

  9. Please don't tell me you really remove splinters with a machete?! ;) Honestly I think it is easier to remove them with smaller objects (such as tweezers, fingers, or needles) anyway, at least if you are just trying to remove the splinter. Now if you are trying to remove more than just a splinter, then by all means use the machete. ;)

    Good post! I enjoyed it!

    1. Well, Ok, it isn't a Machete, I actually use my hunting knife. But to some poor girl focusing on her poor wounded hand, it sure seems like a machete! :)
      I hope I never actually have to remove anything bigger than a splinter from a girls hand, that actually warrants a machete!
      And no, when it comes to desert splinters, a good sharp knife beats a pair of tweezers or a needle (I detest trying to remove splinters with needles *shudders*) any day of the week, and twice on Sundays.
      But that is my opinion. :)

    2. Haha! I actually detest the thought of sticking needles in me to remove splinters, as well. (Therefore, I have never tried that before. hehe). That is why, if I can't remove it with my fingers, then I generally let it just remain in a little longer, because it will eventually come out even if it takes a couple weeks. ;)

  10. I just had to jump in on the splinter thing. In our family, the girls are in charge of removing splinters. So come Sunday afternoon, you're more likely to see me hanging on to my Uncle's hand while he makes exaggerated grimaces and tells me I'm digging a crater in his hand. I trust our boys with a lot, but the first time one of them comes at me with a knife to remove a splinter, the whole world is gonna hear 'bout it. :)

    1. Amen, Jordanna! Splinter removing is definitely for women to do! I whole-heartily agree with you! ;)
      Men and knives can be a rather dangerous combination. ;)

  11. It would have to be a thundering big splinter to warrant a machete ;-)

    1. Precisely what I was thinking, Honda Boy! ;)

  12. Great post, and very well written!!

    And I agree with Jordanna up there, it's always been mine or my mom's job to remove the splinter here at our house!!! Though we don't do it with a machete. ;)

  13. Great Article Country Boy! I think your take on the subject is very well stated.
    I've noticed things like what you pointed out, just never put them to words so eloquently (or humorously!).
    I'll be sharing this!


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