So, I have found there is a lot of hype about the country life, and whether you know it or not, a lot you believe about living in the country probably isn't true - unless of course you already live there, in which case you should relate to this post marvelously.
Ready for them? I wish I could arrange these in 10 - 1 order, but I cant decide in which order they should go. I will however save the biggest myth for the last - nice little climax. :)
So here we go -The Top Ten myths about the Country.
#10 - Everybody is nice and polite in the country
Ha, I so wish this was true, but no, to do that, we would have to eliminate all people - which would make country living rather hard wouldn't it?
I have heard of, and met, my share of country jerks, and while they might not be in the same quantities as un the city, oh boy do they exist.
#9 - Everybody in the country listens to country music.
This is one is debatable as to whether or not it is preferable, but no, certainly not true. I have heard a good share of everything else out in my neck of the woods.
Granted, I would say country music is preferred out here, but is not unanimous across the board.
#8 - Everybody in the country dun be dumb rednecks.
Ok, just because you know me doesn't mean you can judge the rest of us that way. :D
But really, my neighbor, plus one guy I know pretty well up the road, are engineers at Boeing. Seriously. They have some serious smarts up there, and the country is littered with people who are far brighter than you ever dreamed a pair of simple jeans and t-shirt could hold.
Speaking of which .....
#7 - Everybody in the country wears jeans, or overalls.
I have seen a wide variety of clothes out here, from jeans, to overalls, to coveralls, to shorts, shorts so short you cant even call them shorts anymore, Khakis, skinny jeans, jeans with so many holes there is more holes than jeans, dress pants, yeah. It's all here. Jeans certainly have center stage, but again, is not unanimous.
#6 - Everybody in the country has cows and chickens at the very least.
Dead wrong. Me and my neighbor are the only ones on our street that has chickens. Cows appear about once every two blocks. You would not believe the amount of people who move out here just to get some land and make it look nice, then just sit at it and stare at it. Literally. There are tons of people out my way who have no animals besides dogs, and maybe a stray barn cat or two.
#5 - Goats are these lovely quiet animals that stand still to be milked, and sheep are docile and follow the shepherd quietly wherever he goes.
Let me inform you.
When Christ compared Christians to sheep, that wasn't exactly a compliment. Sheep are scatterbrained, dumb, do whatever everybody else is doing, even if it is dumber than what they are presently doing, are obsessed with food, and can get so scared they will literally kill themselves.
Oh, and when he compared the unsaved to goats - Ha - depending on the goat, that could be a flat out insult. Of course Christ wasn't insulting people - goats are actually a very god word picture of unsaved people - It's just that goats in real life are so downright .... (thinking of nice word...) .... Evil.
I have heard stories of nice, quiet, behaving goats, kinda like all those rumors you hear about dragons in Antarctica.
And yes, they will eat anything.
Goats will intentionally look for ways to do what you know you don't want them to do, and you can see them calculating in their minds how much longer they can pull off their mischief until you get to them.
I plain out don't like goats, and sheep are ok - for their purpose.
The way I see it, there is a reason God said sheep are going to Heaven, and goats are going to Hell.
#4 - We live on Ham, steak, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, and home-baked pies.
Oh Golly I wish. I would be one happy dude - imagine all that meat..... Oh yeah, I could do that - if I was flat out rich.
#3 - We spend the evenings sitting on the front porch and watch the sunset.
We are usually busy feeding animals at that time - everyday. Silly things need feeding regularly.
Some of us don't even have a front porch. We do, and it even has a swing in it, but we hardly ever get to use it. :)
#2 - We all have rocking chairs on the front porch.
Literally, the last time I saw a legit rocking chair was at Cracker Barrel. Nuff Said.
Ready for the #1 Myth about the country life? This might surprise you.
ROOSTERS DON'T CROW AT THE SUNRISE.
They just don't. Know why?
Because they crow ALL. THE. TIME. - I heard one crow at 3:00 A.M once. They crow in the morning. They crow in the evening. They crow anytime in-between they feel like it. They just crow.
Honestly, I really have no idea where this one came from, because it is so far out there, it just simply had to be nearly made up out of someones head. Someone woke up, heard the rooster crow, and just randomly decided that the rooster had to be crowing at the sun, because he obviously wasn't crowing at the llama.
Or something like that...
So there they are! All ten of them, debunked. Country like just ain't what it's all chalked up to be.
Got any other country myths that your backwoods life has debunked? I would love to hear them!