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Sunday, May 18, 2014

The Top Ten Myths About Country Life - Debunked

Ok, this post has been floating about in my mind now for a while, and at last, I am bringing it down to earth and to the cybernook I call my blog.

So, I have found there is a lot of hype about the country life, and whether you know it or not, a lot you believe about living in the country probably isn't true - unless of course you already live there, in which case you should relate to this post marvelously.

Ready for them? I wish I could arrange these in 10 - 1 order, but I cant decide in which order they should go. I will however save the biggest myth for the last - nice little climax. :)

So here we go -The Top Ten myths about the Country.

#10 -  Everybody is nice and polite in the country
Ha, I so wish this was true, but no, to do that, we would have to eliminate all people - which would make country living rather hard wouldn't it?
I have heard of, and met, my share of country jerks, and while they might not be in the same quantities as un the city, oh boy do they exist.

#9 - Everybody in the country listens to country music.
This is one is debatable as to whether or not it is preferable, but no, certainly not true. I have heard a good share of everything else out in my neck of the woods.
Granted, I would say country music is preferred out here, but is not unanimous across the board.

#8 - Everybody in the country dun be dumb rednecks.
Ok, just because you know me doesn't mean you can judge the rest of us that way. :D
But really, my neighbor, plus one guy I know pretty well up the road, are engineers at Boeing. Seriously. They have some serious smarts up there, and the country is littered with people who are far brighter than you ever dreamed a pair of simple jeans and t-shirt could hold.

Speaking of which .....

#7 - Everybody in the country wears jeans, or overalls.
I have seen a wide variety of clothes out here, from jeans, to overalls, to coveralls, to shorts, shorts so short you cant even call them shorts anymore, Khakis, skinny jeans, jeans with so many holes there is more holes than jeans, dress pants, yeah. It's all here. Jeans certainly have center stage, but again, is not unanimous.

#6 -  Everybody in the country has cows and chickens at the very least.
Dead wrong. Me and my neighbor are the only ones on our street that has chickens. Cows appear about once every two blocks. You would not believe the amount of people who move out here just to get some land and make it look nice, then just sit at it and stare at it. Literally. There are tons of people out my way who have no animals besides dogs, and maybe a stray barn cat or two.

#5 - Goats are these lovely quiet animals that stand still to be milked, and sheep are docile and follow the shepherd quietly wherever he goes.

Let me inform you.

When Christ compared Christians to sheep, that wasn't exactly a compliment. Sheep are scatterbrained, dumb, do whatever everybody else is doing, even if it is dumber than what they are presently doing, are obsessed with food, and can get so scared they will literally kill themselves.

Sound familiar?

Oh, and when he compared the unsaved to goats - Ha - depending on the goat, that could be a flat out insult. Of course Christ wasn't insulting people - goats are actually a very god word picture of unsaved people - It's just that goats in real life are so downright .... (thinking of nice word...) .... Evil.

I have heard stories of nice, quiet, behaving goats, kinda like all those rumors you hear about dragons in Antarctica.

And yes, they will eat anything.

Goats will intentionally look for ways to do what you know you don't want them to do, and you can see them calculating in their minds how much longer they can pull off their mischief until you get to them.

I plain out don't like goats, and sheep are ok - for their purpose.

The way I see it, there is a reason God said sheep are going to Heaven, and goats are going to Hell.

Just saying.  

#4 - We live on Ham, steak, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, and home-baked pies.
Oh Golly I wish. I would be one happy dude - imagine all that meat..... Oh yeah, I could do that - if I was flat out rich.

#3 - We spend the evenings sitting on the front porch and watch the sunset.
Like, never.
We are usually busy feeding animals at that time - everyday. Silly things need feeding regularly.
Some of us don't even have a front porch. We do, and it even has a swing in it, but we hardly ever get to use it. :)

#2 - We all have rocking chairs on the front porch.
Literally, the last time I saw a legit rocking chair was at Cracker Barrel.  Nuff Said.

Ready for the  #1 Myth about the country life? This might surprise you.


They just don't. Know why?

Because they crow ALL. THE. TIME.  - I heard one crow at 3:00 A.M once. They crow in the morning. They crow in the evening. They crow anytime in-between they feel like it. They just crow.

Honestly, I really have no idea where this one came from, because it is so far out there, it just simply had to be nearly made up out of someones head. Someone woke up, heard the rooster crow, and just randomly decided that the rooster had to be crowing at the sun, because he obviously wasn't crowing at the llama.

Or something like that...

So there they are! All ten of them, debunked. Country like just ain't what it's all chalked up to be.

Got any other country myths that your backwoods life has debunked? I would love to hear them!


  1. #1...YES. And #3....yes, yes, YES.

    I may just do a semi-rebuttal post. Something along the lines of 10 reasons I love growing up in the country....

  2. Love this post. XD And yeah, if roosters did actually crow at a set time in the morning, you could hardly call it "morning"; it's generally always around 4am in my experience. :P Loved all these points!

    But I have to argue on the goats. Sorry, I love goats. I know so many people who have had bad experiences with goats though, so I can understand why you hate them. But we have two gorgeous, docile, sweet dairy goats who come when they're called, stand easily to be milked, and love to be in your company just because. We have a couple of kid goats too, and I love their personalities, and their playfulness. Granted, they do eat anything, and our poor trees have suffered some serious ringbarking. :P But yeah. I still love 'em. If you ever come visit over here, I'll have to introduce you to some nice goats. ;)

  3. So true about the rooster.
    Another myth might be that people think that if someone lives in the country than they have to have animals or a farm or a garden. But from my own experience, we had a cat for several years, but no animals now. We have tried to have a garden, but it doesn't usually turn out to be a success. And we never had a farm.

  4. I laughed right through this post...glad you pointed out we're not all dumb hicks out in the sticks. ;P

    As to #9...down home I hear mostly country, but also pop and rap coming from the redneck trucks--and then there's me, blaring Baroque music out of my rolled down windows. :D

    One that I like: Country life is easier/simpler. Yeah...right! It may be a bit slower paced, but life in the country (if you're actually agricultural) is full of hard work; there is always something else that needs doing. Speaking of which, I'd better get back to work in the rhubarb patch if I want to get done with it today...

  5. These are all so true it's crazy. I laughed through this whole thing.

    Amen about the dumb rednecks! The farmers I know are all incredibly smart. They don't always show it, I mean they don't always think before they act, and they like trying out ridiculous ideas (who doesn't?!), but they're very smart woodworkers, mechanics, tech whizzes, etc.

    Hahaha the rooster....yeah...I've never ever heard one crowing at dawn. More like every 15 minutes all through the afternoon and evening.

  6. Perfect!! This is absolutely hilarious! xD SO true!

  7. I nominated you for the Liebster Award over at my blog.


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