Soft Men

We've all seen the movies - ripped guy taking on millions of foes, wiping the field clean and dirt from his forehead. Sword swinging, guns blazing, bullets and blades seeming to bounce off of him as he does his daring deeds of duty. 

And then we've all seen the contrast. In some cases, stark contrast. 

No comments needed there. 

Anyway, with all the wimpy guys in today's society, the reformed circles have seen a shift away from the wimpy-Jimmy syndrome, and towards embracing a more masculine figure. We wear jeans and leather boots, with a tan on our arms, and a few scars here and there telling stories of braving the hazards of cattle chutes and sheep pens.

That was the country boy version, just for your information. Feel free to substitute whatever manly attributes you prefer to give you the proper mental picture.  

We have tried to shun that whole softie thing - were tough boys now. You can bounce rocks off our chest and watch us take on a charging sheep single handed. 

We are doing our best to restore the Biblical image of manhood, like David's mighty men of old. We don't usually run into 800 men in one sitting that all have the collective need of being given a one-way ticket to the other side of eternity, all stamped and signed with a sword swung by us - but we do our best to handle whatever runs in our way. 

Let me tell you, I am all for that. I am all for the muscles and camo and guts and glory, but I want to bring a slight caution to the wooden table where all the hot-chocolate of victory is drank and the war stories are swapped. 

Although there is such a drive in our society for soft men, there is also an equal force driving the society towards hard men - just hard in different areas. Surprisingly, the messages are coming from the same guy - the bad guy. 

Let me see if I can give you a visual.

Picture Dwayne Johnson.  

Dwayne in usually pictured in movies as a whopping tough dude - with big muscles, big guns, cool moves, and a 'you can't touch me' attitude. The picture perfect tough guy. 

But his hardness is instantly revealed - if you try to picture him holding a baby.

 

Wow - talk about a visual train wreck. 

Holding babies is too .... soft ..... for tough guys. That's just not for tough guys.

The hardness that runs from all appearance of weakness, tenderness, and sympathy, even down to holding a baby.

There is the hardness - an internal hardness - a cold hardheartedness that reaches out to modern men's actions, and gives us the impression that to be a tough guy means you have to be invulnerable on the inside - nothing can touch that core of....whatever is down there. Or actually, the real tough guys don't even feel - no feeling of happiness, pain, joy, heartache, remorse, guilt, or worst of all - love. 

Nothing touches heart strings - no blood, guts and gore, romance, reunions or relations - nothing penetrates. 

Folks, that was me. I was a plank in the outside, completely cut off from what was inside.

But this isn't about that whole 'letting the real you out' topic. This takes another - but similar topic.

It's about being soft with those who don't require lessons to be taught with a six-shooter or sword. People like your mom, your siblings, or if you are one of that privileged upper class, your wife.

1 Peter tells us to live with our wives in an understanding manner - and being as hard as nails towards them doesn't quite qualify.

I heard a girl say once - through a third party - that no girl wants a hard-hearted man. A man that is so cold-hearted towards his wife and kids that it drive them further and further away. Girls - wives - want love. Not sensual love, but the real kind - the kind that doesn't come from a hard heart.

In fact, God puts a boot in the seat of Israel several times for having hard hearts - granted, it was for having a hard heart towards God, but it still was a hard heart. Pharaoh had a whopping hard heart - look where that landed him!

My Pastor says often that our earthly relationships are a glance at our heavenly relationships. If we are being hard-hearted towards our family, our wives, or anybody for that matter, it probably is a good sign you are hard hearted towards God.

God urges us several times to soften our hearts, and warns that a stick-necked person who is corrected time and time again, will be destroyed once and for all 'and that without remedy'.


So this is kinda a warning - warning against being the Dwayne Johnson kinda tough, where we shun all appearances of tenderness and weakness, and go for the visual of a stone. Maybe that's how Dwayne Johnson got his nickname "The Rock".....

This is a call to be the kind of tough where you are tough on the outside, but are soft inside.



Soft men - it sounds so gross, but it actually is what God calls for.

I hope this doesn't sound preachy. : ) It's just been on my mind lately, and I thought I would throw it out there for you all. Sorta a random ramble.

This is just a reminder to be soft on the inside, soft to our wives and families, soft to the ladies in our lives, soft to the men in our lives, and most importantly, soft towards God. Let him guide you, and don't get hard towards him.

I was going to end this post with some fitting visual analogy about being soft on the inside and physically tough on the outside, but I couldn't think of any. Phooey.

So I guess I'll just end it here. : )