Just a few days ago, I topped it. Oh yes, it was awesome.
No joke, honest to goodness, I shot the Easter Bunny.
Well, it wasn't on Easter, but it was on Good Friday (that incident made it a VERY good Friday. :) )
I went out to take some trash to the garbage on the curb, and spotting a few bunnies munching under our front tree, I came out a few minutes later, armed with a pellet gun and permission to bag me a bunny.
Waiting for an opportune moment, and not wanting to shoot from the angle I was at for fear of missing and hitting a car or house across the street, I sat on the front porch and bided my time. After a while, my fear was that I had bided to much time, for now, all bunnies were out of my sight. I was sure they had moved and ran away at seeing me creep closer. So, rather bummed that I had missed my chance to shoot my first rabbit on our property, I headed up the driveway to see if they were still visible, or maybe even in our yard, down on either side by our trees, praying that God would let me bag a bunny.
At around 5 yards from the front gate, I spotted him. He was not even ten yards away, in a slight clump of grass, just on the other side of the fence, off to my left.
Bang.
Wounded rabbit staggers away, looking at me funny. I follow, and two shots later, he is twitching on the ground, bloodying up my front yard. I found out later that I probably didn't need the next two shots, the first breaking the bone just above his nose, and going out the far eye, obliterating everything in-between (hence the reason he was bloodying up my yard.)
I paced it out afterwards, and found I had shot him at 8 yards. Now, according to a friend I know, he says due to the amazing power of my .20 caliber pellet rifle, shooting a rabbit at eight yards isn't hunting; it's destroying perfectly usable bunny.
I said that bunny had it coming to him, since he should have known better than to come to my yard.
Anyway, he was dead. So now, I have a rabbit hide tacked up on a piece of plywood in my garage, and a bag of rabbit meat in the freezer.
My theory is that the Easter Bunny was out laying his eggs for all the kids, was unaware that this was redneck territory, and strayed into dangerous ground. The rest, as we say, is history.
My only trouble is convincing all the kids around the world that their favorite bunny has been brutally shot, and he will no longer be laying eggs for them each Resurrection Sunday (although how a bunny is supposed to lay eggs is the first place, let alone plastic ones, with candy inside to top it off, I have no idea)
The carcass, after all the gutting and skinning was said and done, waiting to have the meat removed. |
The finished product. |
Oh, all those poor kids that will cry now every Resurrection Sunday... ow could you be so mean? And, why in the world would the bunny be laying plastic, chocolate eggs two days before Resurrection Sunday? They would melt and all the kids would find, would be melted brown spots on the grass or in the bush! And it will teach all those kids that there will be no more easter bunny, and you can tell them on the other hand, that chocolate is not even good for you. But, you do have to say that, a rabbit is alot more useful dead than alive, if you have to agree, I mean, you can use the skin and eat the meat.... ;-)
ReplyDeleteBut, im glad you had a VERY good Friday. and im not any sorry to the dead easter bunny.
Sadie : )
Neato!
ReplyDeleteGlad you put an end to the life of that lying, no good fluff ball. Everyone knows that bunnies don't lay eggs, therefore the easter bunny is a deceiver.
ReplyDeleteTell me this though: now that you know he's not made of chocolate are you still going to EAT the easter bunny?!?
Of COURSE I am, notice the plastic bag in the last photo? My only problem is trying to get mom to put that and my jackrabbit meat in something sometime soon.
ReplyDelete*sigh*
The life of a hunter with a non-hunter mother. :)
Hey, was that "squeamish blog followers" part for me??? :( JK
ReplyDeleteLooks like fun!
Oh, David...you are so funny :) You could tell the most boring story in the world and still make people laugh LOL
ReplyDelete