If you want to attract an honorable lady, be an honorable man.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Fistful Of Dollars: Review

I saw this movie in Manassass, and this movie is the epitome of the pointless movie. Not only is there no moral, there is also almost no comprehensible story-line. I will summarize.

Clint is traveling along, and comes upon a small town with almost no inhabitants, ruled by two warring factions.  The two factions are acutally two families living at opposite ends of town. One is an American gun dealer, the other a Mexican wine dealer, both dealing illegally. The only other people besides the dealer that live in this town are the coffin maker and the owner of the bar. Clint starts to work for one faction, helping them against the other, by killing four of them for shooting at him and his horse as he rode into town. This part was the only part I enjoyed. He walks down the street, and tells the coffin maker to get three coffins ready, since it was three guys harassing him earlier. He goes down to the gun dealer, and after they refuse to apologize for shooting at him, they try to shoot him. He of course, whips out his gun and shoot them all before they ever touch him. He walks back to the coffin maker, and utters the funniest words in the whole movie in total Clint cool-man style. "My bad. Four coffins."

That's where the humor ends.  

Anyway, he works for one side, then after learning that the wine dealers held up a gold train and killed all the people, he goes to where all the dead people are laying, and relocates two of the bodies to a graveyard. I have no idea why. He then goes to the other side (the gun traders) and tells them about the gold robbery, and tells them if they give him money he will tell them where to go get some guys who will tell them about it. They do, and they rush off to the graveyard to get the men, who they think are still alive. The wine dealers get wind of this, and a shootout occurs at the grave-site where the g-dealers are trying to capture the dead guys before the w-dealers kill them to keep their mouth shut. Again, I have no idea why Clint does this. Clint then goes and hides out at the w-dealers ranch, looking for something, not really sure what, and not really sure why he is there. An online review I read said he was looking for the gold they stole, but you certainly don't get that feel on your own.  While he is there, he accidentally knocks out the chief bad-guys girlfriend when she startles him. There is an odd story behind this girl. She is actually married to another man, and Ramon, the chief wine dealer, was twitterpated, claimed the husband cheated him in cards, just so he could steal his girl.

 So this poor girl lives with him as a concubine always wanting to go back to her husband and boy. Well, in the gunfight back at the graveyard, the w-dealers capture one of the g-dealers. Clint goes to the g-dealers and turns over the girl as ransom for the other man. They trade people, and then Clint pulls a few tricks. He goes to where the girl is staying, kills all the men in the house, reunites the girl with her husband and boy, and tells them to run across the border before Ramon catches them, because, as he puts it, "I knew a girl like you once, and there was no-one to help."

So, after getting back from this escapade, the w-dealers find out that Clint did the evil deed, and they capture him and torture him. Clint, the Hollywood hero, of course, escapes, but barely surviving. He escapes to a cave where the coffin maker takes care of him. W-dealers think the g-dealers are hiding him, and they burn their house down and kill every last man woman and child in their in revenge. They then proceed to torture the bar keeper who made friends with Clint. Clint arrives just in time, healed enough to fight. There is a ongoing controversy with Ramon and Clint over which weapon is better: Ramon's rifle, or Clint's pistol. Here, that argument plays out. Ramon is famous for heart shots. So Clint appears, and Ramon shoots him in the heart and Clint falls over.......
...and gets back up. Ramon is worried, and shoots him again. Clint falls, and gets back up. Ramon is getting very nervous and shoots him repeatedly, all with the same result. Clint walks up and shoots all of Ramon's buddies and shoots the rifle out of Ramon's hand.

 He flips back his poncho and you see now that he made himself a homemade bullet-proof vest in the mine from an old metal drum, protecting him from Ramon's pot-shots. He then removes it, and then decides to find out once and for all which weapon is better. So Clint arranges a contest. They both throw their guns on the ground, unloaded, and the one who can pick it up, load it, and shoot the other person, wins.  Well, this is Hollywood, so of course Clint just so whoops Ramon's pants off, he shoots him, and Ramon dies, his beloved Winchester failing him at the last. Clint then grabs a mule standing around, and rides out of town, the bar-keeper very injured, and the coffin maker with a lot of work on his plate. 

The End. 

The Good: Not much. I guess it's good Clint got the girl and her husband together and safe away. He also proves my opinion that Pistols are infinitely superior in speed and maneuverability to rifles in close combat. :) 

The Bad: Just about everything else. Because of him, basically the entire population is killed, and he rides away with money in his pocket after doing a lot of the killing. A completely useless story-line with lots of useless happenings that don't fit in with the plot at all. Completely lame. 

The Rest:
Completely weird score. Its..... odd, dark, eerie, and fits the movie very well. Very hard to describe. Here's a link for my score oriented friends. :)   
Overall rating: 1/2 stars. NOT recommended. 
BTW, the pistol he has on the movie poster is the pistol he has in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. The one he has in this movie, he is holding in bottom picture. I'm sure none of you wanted to know that, but since I noticed it, I thought I would throw that in. :) 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Tell me what you think!
I don't care if you disagree, hate me or love me! Just comment!