If you want to attract an honorable lady, be an honorable man.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Playing the Harlot

This started out as a Bible study topic in school, and the more I went along, the more I realized how the principles I was reading applied in so many more ways than I first expected. 

When we first think of a Harlot, we think of a scantily dressed lady on the corner, with a *for hire* sign hung around her neck.

However, the more I dug, the more I realized that there was a lot more to this issue than just that, and it applied to more than just girls. Here are a few things I came across in my studies of Scripture.
Hold onto your hats folks - this stuff is serious and can't be taken lightly. Roll up your sleeves and get ready. Were gonna get down and dirty wid 'dis one.
: D

1. She is out and open for public use. (Genesis 38, Proverbs 7). Openly flaunting her looks and body for public use, for monetary gain or even for mere attention. This could be in dress, makeup, body language, actions and behavior, all used to bring attention her her and her body.

Now, it must be stated here, there are two levels of this angle of harlotry. One is far more obvious, but the other is far deadlier and much more subversive.

The first is the quintessential back-alley hooker. "You want a piece of this? You can have it - for a price."
That's the most obvious and generally thought of application. 1-800-Rent-A-Girl.

The second is, in my opinion, much more deadly, because we don't often see it as it is.
Instead of the girl selling herself to you and whoever has enough to pay the right price, she merely acts in a way that displays her stuff in the open, without actually giving it away. I would say the vast majority of girls in modern day America fall into this category, and this usually manifests itself in two ways.

A. She wears her clothes in such a way as to bring your constant attention to her. They may be tight, they may be skimpy, they may be just plain weird. Just so long as your looking at her, she don't care why.

Her clothes may be fourteen shades of green with a blue spot on one shoulder, tie-die stitching all over one back pocket, and a purple highlight in her hair. It's weird, it's strange, but at least your lookin'.
Her clothes may be skin tight, where you can see ever tendon and ligament on her figure. It's not modest, but boy are you lookin'.
Maybe there ain't much clothes at all. She's the hottest chick in town, and wow, your lookin'.
That's the first type.

B. She acts outrageously, wild, silly, flirty, all bringing and keeping your attention on her.

Whoa, that's new ain't it? Probably hadn't thought of that one, have you? (Me neither, that behavior just plain annoyed me :)

Maybe she wears a nice dress with a nice modest shirt, not too tight and not revealing anything, but she is over-dramatic WAY TO OFTEN, making people look at her. She laughs WAY TOO LOUD, just so people will look at her. She plays a little flaunty with the boys, because they look at her. She says outlandish, silly things, because people laugh at her and look at her.  

You can be as modest as Mother Teresa in clothes and still act like and strut like and flirt like a harlot. Puts a whole new spin on things don't it?     

2. She flatters with her words (Proverbs 2:16)
Openly and overly praises you to raise your pride, because you are more likely to pay attention to her if you are focused on yourself rather than God. Either that or to show you that she thinks a lot of you, hoping you will think a lot of her. 

3. She has forsaken the guide of her youth (Proverbs 2:17).
She has rebelled against all she was taught about right and wrong, and is doing her own thing. She is disobedient to parents, and refusing to take correction, she makes her own decisions.
"I'm doin dis my way"
That one sorta caught be broadside. Sure I had read it, but I had never made all the connections implied there.

4. She has forgotten the covenant of her God (Proverbs 2:17).

She has forgotten, intentionally or no, the commands of God and his promises of blessing upon obedience and the promise of judgment otherwise. She is concerned about what she wants to do, her interests, her desires, her likes and dislikes, and has neglected to turn her heart to follow God.

5. Her paths incline unto the dead (Proverbs 2:18).
The direction she is headed in is not towards Godliness and growing in his grace and mercy. Her path is headed on a fast track for the hot place, with no pit stops along the way. Her entire life goal and decisions are anti-Christian, and are all about her lusts of the flesh.

6. She is subtle of heart (Proverbs 7:10)
This is another one that took me off guard. She knows how to turn you on and turn you towards her without you even knowing it, drawing you away from God. She knows if she came out and said it, you would run like all hell was behind you (and you would be right) but if she approaches it slowly and “subtly” she can bait you in till you are sold before you even knew you were in the open. Creepy.

7. She is sure you won't get caught (Proverbs 7:19, 20).
She is sure that you wont get caught this time, and assures you that its only illegal if you get caught, and encourages you to bust the rules – just this once.  

So, after all of that, I sat back and was amazed. There were all these Biblical aspects of a Harlot that I had never thought about. It goes far beyond just selling your body, that's merely the end point. It starts with how you obey your parents, and how your relationship with God is, and the farther along you progress, the farther from God you get - till you find yourself on the corner.

I mean, sure, I read it, and mentally understood it, but for some reason it never clicked as hard as it did recently.

So, one application I got out of this is that we as Christians must do everything we can to prevent ourselves from leading another Christian away from God, and towards lustful thoughts. Our goal as Christians should be to point each-other towards Christ, not away.

Now it must be stated, not all girls who wear their jeans a little tight and their high-rise low-cut t-shirts are openly trying to subvert guys. In fact, I would say the vast percentage of those who do wear those clothes don't do it because they are trying to subvert the guys. I would say easily most girls don't know how they dress affects guys - in far more ways than they ever could imagine.

Despite the fact they aren't trying to give their Christian brothers a mental battle, we guys still struggle with it don't we?
However, this is where it hurt - this passage and principle isn't aimed only at girls.

Every single stinkin' thing I lined out above about girls struttin' their stuff and actin out for attention, applies with just as much force when a guy struts his stuff and acts out for attention.

So guys, if we spiritually have a hard time with girls who flaunt their body (intentionally or no) don't you think girls might have a hard time when we flaunt our body? How often do we flex our muscles and stick out our chests in front of them? How often to we strut around like a turkey just waiting to be turned to Thanksgiving dinner? How often to we look for ways to use them muscles in ways to make the girls think what men we are? How often do we do things with our God given strength and skill, just to make the girls stare? How often do we act outrageous for the looks? How often do we say that funny thing just because    (be honest, we all know the reason) the girls will get a kick out of it? How often do we......
You get the point.

God didn't make a bunch of principles about conduct for girls and then let us guys off the hook. No sir, you're in this boat too.

If you think a girl displaying things and acting ways she shouldn't gives guys problems, why wouldn't us doing the same thing give girls problems?

Subtle glance under her eyelids in our direction. Heart skip a beat? Same for the girls when we do it.

Shirt cut a little low and maybe just the tiniest bit tight. Hard to look away? Same for the girls when we do it.

Tiniest bit flirty, and paying special attention to you. Head in the clouds? Same for the girls when we do it.

See? It's not just a one-way street.    

This is far more serious than we tend to realize. We often times act, talk, walk, strut, and even flirt just like the rest of the rotten world, with often times similar reasons. What happened to letting our light shine forth? What happened to being different that the world so they can see that we have Christ dwelling in us?

We need to man-up guys, and act in such a way as to guard our sisters in Christs heart, just as much as we wish they would women-up and do the same.

Guys, wanna attract an honorable lady down the road? Be an honorable man now.
Girls aren't looking for a guy that will flirt with any girls that cross his fancy. Girls are looking for men who are following Christ, that can lead them in following Christ.
That folks, will turn a girl on in the right way. It renews her passion for following Christ, not the cute boy.
Man up guys. Do your duty.

Sorry, slightly off topic, but that is awesome.

Girls, wanna attract an honorable man down the road? Be an honorable lady now.
Guys don't want a flirty pretty girl struttin her stuff. Guys want a girl that honors Christ and is holding herself back for her husband.
That folks, turns a guy on in the right way. It renews his passion for following Christ, not cute girls.

When we are honorable, respectful, and know our boundaries, people are attracted to Christ, not us. People see the fruit of the Holy Spirit in us, not the fruit of the lusts of the flesh.

Guys, keeping your heart pure and ready for your wife when you get married is worth far more than any stares from any girl anywhere.

Girls, keeping yourself chaste and held back for your husband is worth far more than any stares from any boy anywhere.

Just thought I'd share that.
It helped me, and I hope it helps you.

Know any other ways we can guard our friends' hearts by our actions? Comment and let me know!  


  1. Amen! Great post! You hit the nail right on the head! What a wonderful reminder! Thank you so much for this... So many people are too prudish to even think about, let alone speak about such things, but if the wisest man on earth thought that this was important to teach his son, we should all do likewise! Great job! Also, something I thought of was about point #3. I believe the "guide of her youth" is her husband. And she forsakes him in a horrible way, when she is intimate with another man. Such a betrayal is heinous, since he has been her companion and guide from early youth. In contrast, a father's guidance may be forsaken, but the father himself is not truly forsaken by the adultery of a daughter.

    Scripture describes the wife of a man's youth (5:18; Is 54:6; Joel 1:8; Mal 2:14-15). If girls married nearer biological maturity today, they would be husband and wife of youth.

    Thank you again for this post! May the Lord bless your effort to follow Him in every aspect of life!

  2. Thanks Brytni! Glad you found it edifying. That's why I try to write things like this - the stuff that nobody either thinks about or doesn't want to bring up. Thanks for reading!

  3. Good one, David!!

    Here's something I've been contemplating on lately...
    If I admire something that someone is doing or some trait about that person, I tend to think it, but keep it to myself. Well, then in our study of Hebrews, I kept reading "encourage one another," "exhort one another," and I started thinking, "Hmmm...how can I encourage others?" And I started watching people.
    What I came up with was starting to give voice to my good opinions of people in the form of a compliment.
    Sooo...the problem is this (especially since I am friends with a lot of guys) - I don't want it to come across like I'm flirting cause I'm not. So where is the line between complimenting and flattering/flirting?...not so much for why I'm doing it but for how it's perceived.
    Just some thoughts...

    But here's a compliment :) I really like how you write!! You are so easy to follow and of course the bits of humor are enjoyable. Great post.

  4. Ooh, gettin gritty here.
    Well, I think one has to show EXTREME caution in that area, especially when crossing the guy-girl line. I know guys can take it one way, and girls can take it a completely different one.
    I would say the flattery-honest praise line is pretty slippery too. Motives have a lot to do with it, but it might be hard for someone to see that line if they are on the other end of it, or even on the outside looking in. I would say maybe make it clear why one is being praised, i.e. singing good glorifies God, obeying Parents pleases God, etc. That way, they are not being praised for some random thing that only inflates their pride, but shows them how their actions please God, and encourage them to do it more often.
    Granted, all of that being said under the whole angle of guy - girl. In some cases, no matter how you phrase it, it might seem odd doing it odd to a guy if you're a girl, or vice-a-versa. There are some times where maybe it would be best not to say nothing at all, just so no-one gets any goofy ideas.
    Granted again, it is perfectly legitimate for a sister in Christ to admonish and encourage the brethren, same as a guy could, but like I said, it has to be handled kinda edgy-like. It may seem like you are being to careful, but its better to go err on the side of NOT saying something - just in case. :)
    Hope that helps! Thanks for the compliment!

  5. Sorry Brytni, had to ask....
    Whats "prudish? I suppose I could look it up, but since you used it I'll ask you. :)

    1. Sorry! Didn't see this right away...

      The definition: 1. Like a prude; very formal, precise, or
      reserved; affectedly severe in virtue

      for instance, I have met people that won't use what they call the "s" word (referring to sex)because it's "sinful". We shouldn't talk to "innocents" about such crude things. What innocents? We are wicked and sinful from the womb! Are they holier than God, that they can't talk about these matters? The Bible says that marriage and the bed defiled are honorable. We HAVE to teach our children of the dangers of whores and whore-mongers, fornication and lasciviousness AND the innocence and wholesomeness of marriage. Hope this makes since.

      The devil used the Victorian Age and other errors to conjure up a prudish approach to sex that is totally foreign to the Bible. In spite of what many older Christians believe, the Bible is very positive toward sex. Just read the Song of Solomon! Repression and silence about it continues to wreck dysfunctional havoc in marriages, which brought about the sexual revolution to counteract this deadly perversion. The truth is between both ditches!

      So, my commendation of your post was because you didn't "shy" from this subject because of those who would say it was inappropriate etc... You looked in the Bible, saw what it says, and declared the truth boldly without apology... Thank you :)

    2. Oh, totally agree. I don't think it is a subject to be taken lightly or joked about, but if the Bible talks about it, so should we! God obviously thought it was important enough to put in there!
      Yeah, we have been studying the Renascence lately, and the whole "sacred - secular" split began there. Ideal love was just an emotional thing the poets idolized, and sex was a vulgar low-case version of love for the common Joe who didn't have the brains to appreciate "Ideal" love.
      I think sex is a righteous and holy act created by God, if done and used in his perimeters and boundaries. If you think about it, a lot of sins are merely "right" acts, done at wrong times. Self defense is perfectly legitimate, murder is not. Sex is legitimate, adultery is not. Etc.
      We have to obey God and submit to his timing and placing of things. Its when we step out of bounds and do them when we want to that we sin.
      Your welcome! I try to post things to make people think - a thing that happens far to rarely in our modern world. I hope it brings God the glory.
      Thanks for the good comments!

    3. Amen! and Amen! And Yes, may God get all the glory for any truth you or I may publish, and any men's opinions that seep through... May they fall to the ground unheeded! May He open our eyes to the truth and prick our consciences! This comment of yours is a great addition to your post! Thank you once again!

  6. That's kind of what I was concluding....being super careful with saying anything to guys along that line because, like you said, I can mean it one way and it can be taken a *completely* different way.

    That's a good point though about making it clear why one is being praised.

    So in conclusion...compliment carefully LOL

    Thanks, bro :D

  7. 'Twas not a heart of gold within,
    but plastic partyware.

    -from a poem I wrote

    Great stuff. And I would have to say that most guys are far less willing to admit it than girls are.
    Keep reminding us of this kind of thing.


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